There are times when I think about why a lot, especially when it comes to my position in this world and the nature of the unique ambience that flows around me. Though I don’t ask a question like: Why I am here? Why me? such questions are absurd because the elements gathered and I was. But I ask: since this idiosyncratic existence was bestowed upon me, then why I was so average and ordinary? Weren’t existence would award me my deepest desires since I was chosen for this time-place presence?
Sometimes I think that I get all this wrong, I understand it in the wrong way. I was not chosen, I am a daughter of chance and because I consider myself of being chosen and being unique, I find it painful to live the way I am. The average and the ordinary is the unique maybe, and what makes us unique is the courage we have to go through life hoping to catch the tip of light thread.
And so my yearnings rise and calm according to my inner sunshine and energy attractions. I become more happy when mercy fills my heart and I realize that I never had a lighthouse in my life to guide me through the dark sea inside of me toward home, cause the elements of nature made me one, I am supposed to light the way for others.
There is no use of grieving about it, either embrace it or lose the gift.